1. Their house
If you don’t like the fact that your son moved with her too soon or, even worse, how their place looks, you might be tempted to criticize it whenever you have the chance. But please don’t! Besides being simply annoying for both of you and your daughter-in-law, it is also an unpleasant subject to discuss. If you don’t like the situation or you see it as a problem, that doesn’t mean she will agree with you.
Do you want to be more present in their lives? Then stay polite, available, but also unbiased, and they will eventually come to ask for help if they need it. No matter how close you live to each other, don’t show up uninvited! Some people don’t like surprises, especially if you catch them in an awkward moment. Call before you decide to pay them a visit!
Mind your own business, no advice unless asked for it, if either one starts bad mouthing each other do not take sides. I have been very lucky I get along with all my in laws.
I love my oldest sons wife. She is awesome and she and my son are good for each other. I don’t get involved with their marriage as it is none of my business. I do not like my youngest sons wife at all. He married her and he has to live with her. I am cordial to her. Again their marriage is none of my business. As long as my so. Is happy that is all that mTtersreally matters.
I’m fortunate to love my in-laws and they love me. Also, one of my daughter in-laws is heaven sent. The second daughter in-law is another story. It started out well until my son started changing for the worse. He went from being responsible, reliable, in-touch, relatable, respectful and loving to missing work, over drinking, not preparing for the week, disrespecting, stand offish, borrowing money, unreliable. He and she are having these knock down drag out fights. I tried to advise but that back fired on me and now I’m the bad guy. So now I’m staying out of the way as much as possible. Only just the other day, I gave some advice concerning his drinking and he took offense to it. I want to stay my distance but I don’t want to give the impression that I don’t care. I’m going to continue praying.