On this episode of DETANGLED
When I was younger, dating was one of my favorite things to do, and it’s safe to say that I made a lot of mistakes. The good thing is that I’ve learned a few things from them, and now I can tell you all the secrets of how to meet the perfect date for you.
Do you know how to meet the perfect date?
I remember that before I met my husband, I used to go on many dates, looking for a potentially perfect partner. There was something magical about that time: nobody was rushing me to choose someone, and I was able to set boundaries and only go out with people who were able to respect them.
Given the fact that I went on so many dates, I also made tons of mistakes. And let me tell you that there weren’t a few of them. I had men who suddenly stopped calling me because I did something wrong, but none of them told me exactly what happened.
At first, I didn’t even know what I wanted, but I was so picky that the moment I saw something that wasn’t exactly my cup of tea, I would tell those people bye-bye.
It’s good to know what you want and not accept something just because you don’t want to be alone, but don’t do the same thing I did and kiss people goodbye just because they did something you thought was weird. Maybe they didn’t mean it, or they simply didn’t realize it.
I told you: I made a lot of mistakes, but you don’t have to. And that’s why I’m here: to tell you about all the mistakes I made so you don’t make the same ones. I’ve talked to dating experts about how to behave in order to find the perfect date, and I’m pretty sure you’ll love all these tips.
But that’s enough talking. Are you ready to meet your soulmate? Then let’s get this party started!
1. Be open-minded
This is exactly the thing I stayed away from until I realized that if I want to meet someone, I should not be so impatient. Just think about it: you enter a room that is full of people you don’t know, but you see someone and you find them cute. Of course, you want to get closer to them, talk to them, and who knows? Maybe it’ll be the start of something beautiful.
However, you might find that they’re not exactly how you pictured them, or they might like someone else and not want to engage in any conversations with you. Don’t be disappointed if the first person you like isn’t what you expected. There are many other people in that room to meet and maybe you’ll like them even better.
When you’re so focused on getting someone’s attention, you’re actually missing the opportunity to meet other people, which means that you close yourself off. Be open, friendly, and nice to anyone because the more people you know, the happier you’ll be, and the more chances you’ll have to find the perfect date.
2. Don’t be shy
When I was younger, I used to be very shy, and I only talked to people who came to me first. I didn’t know what to say, and I was very hesitant to introduce myself to a group of people I’d never seen before.
But one time, I made a bet with a friend, and she told me that if I can talk to someone without waiting for them to come to me and introduce me to a group, she’ll get me 2 presents for my birthday. I might sound materialistic, but I was very excited to get more presents, so I decided to take on the challenge.
One time, I was at a work event, but I didn’t know all the people there since it was a huge company and we barely interacted with one another. So I went to a group, I said hi, and I realized that I can get along with people quite easily and that there’s no need to step back and wait for someone to come to me.
That also helped me in my dating life because I wasn’t afraid to introduce myself when a cute guy was near me. In fact, that’s how I met my husband: we were at a gallery, I was alone, he was alone, and I went to him, we chatted a little bit, then I asked him if he wanted to grab some coffee, and the rest is history.
The moral of this episode is that you should never be afraid to make the first move, especially when it comes to finding the perfect date. Yes, of course, you might come across people who think that your behavior is weird, but would you want their impression to stay in your way of finding the perfect date? I don’t think so.
3. Body language
Body language is way more important than the majority of people think, and it can tell a lot about you and about your date as well. For instance, if you’re on a date with someone and find them very attractive, there’s a big possibility that you want them to ask you for a second date, right?
Well, in that case, you should pay attention to your body language because you don’t want to send mixed signals. For instance, don’t sit with your arms crossed at your chest when they’re talking to you, because you give off the impression that you’re angry or that you don’t want them to get closer to you. If you don’t believe me when I tell you that body language can make or break a date, read this book and you’ll see!
Moreover, don’t talk to them while you’re looking at your phone; make sure you always keep your back straight so you can appear more confident, open, and approachable. And remember to relax your facial muscles because you’re on a date and want that person to get to know you, so smile and be natural. These are simple tips that will guarantee you’ll get a second date!
4. Ask good questions
As you already know, when you first date someone, everything revolves around questions because you want to get to know each other. But the questions you ask can be tricky because, besides the usual things, like where they work, how old they are, and where they live, you have to ask meaningful things that show your interest.
For instance, you can ask them about their childhood, the place where they grew up, their dream career, their favorite trips, their accomplishments, and so many other things. If you do that, you’ll definitely get a second date!
…What type of questions should you ask someone on the first date? Leave a comment below!
5. Pay attention to them
Many people, including myself, have an annoying habit of scanning the room everywhere they go, so if you’re one of them, we should all stop doing it, especially on a date. Just picture this: you’re at dinner with someone special, but instead of paying attention to your company, you’re actually looking around you, checking out what other people are wearing or doing.
This is one of the worst things you could possibly do on a date. It gives off the impression that you’re looking for a way out or that you’re bored or annoyed and can’t wait to leave. You wouldn’t like it if your partner did it, so it’s better to give all your attention to your date, and everything will be great!
6. Actively listen to them
One of the things that make people very attractive, at least in my opinion, is when they actively listen to other people. If you’re on a date, especially if it’s not the first one, actually listen to what your partner is telling you, because it will be very appreciated in the future.
For instance, if you remember things that your special someone shared with you while you were on a date, you’ll show them that you care about what they’re saying and you’re interested in what’s going on between you 2.
It might be hard to actively listen and then remember certain details, but if you’re looking for a relationship, you’ll become the most amazing partner if you do that, so don’t neglect this tip!
…Is your relationship doing you more harm than good? In that case, here’s an article you should read ASAP: Toxic Relationship? Here Are 10 Signs You’re in One!