On this episode of DETANGLE
Does your partner have money issues?
In today’s world, you might feel like everything is about money. We are all concerned with how to have more money and how to manage it better. Even if we like it or not, we have to recognize that money is indeed one of the most important aspects of our lives. And if you are in a relationship, you probably believe that you and your partner are truly on the same page.
The following story is not mine; it is actually my mother’s. When they were young, my mom and dad were lovey-dovey. At the beginning of their relationship, my dad used to ask my mom for money every month because he was unemployed. One thing, though, is that my mom was not aware of this.
So, if you don’t want to be caught in a situation like this one, you have to talk with your partner about money from the very beginning.
Now let’s take a look at some signs that can indicate your new partner might have some money issues.
You and your partner have a bond like no other—you know everything about each other, even the coffee order that each of you likes the best. You both enjoy watching foreign movies with subtitles and have a shared love for sleeping with the A/C on. But have you ever stopped to think about your financial compatibility? Money problems are the third leading cause of divorce, according to the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts.
Although it can be challenging to tell if you and your partner are actually financially compatible, there are several red flags to look out for. It’s important to keep in mind that these warning signs don’t necessarily signal the end of a relationship, but if ignored, they can cause serious emotional and financial strain.
In this article, we’re diving into the most common financial red flags in relationships and what you can do to address them. Don’t let financial incompatibility sabotage your otherwise perfect relationship. Be proactive and address any financial red flags before they become a bigger problem.
Your Partner Avoids Discussing Financial Matters
It can be challenging to discuss money, particularly in a romantic relationship. When you are not where you want to be financially, talking about your spending habits, debt, credit score, and financial objectives can be awkward. However, shutting down the dialogue completely can be a warning sign. According to a new survey, Americans prefer to talk about politics, race, religion, substance use, and mental illness over money.
When your partner won’t discuss money, it may indicate more serious problems. They might not be taking the relationship seriously enough to be upfront about finances, or they might be masking a dire financial condition. In either case, it is not a good omen for the future of your partnership.
Your Partner Is Excessively Controlling When It Comes to Your Finances
Financial control is a form of leverage and power in a partnership. It could be challenging for the person under control to leave the dangerous circumstance. If you find yourself in this situation, try to find support from family and friends while trying to leave the toxic relationship.
It’s critical that both parties in a relationship have equal access to and control over their financial resources, as well as open and honest discussions about their finances. This includes setting and sticking to a budget, talking about and deciding on shared financial goals, and having joint bank accounts and credit cards.
In order to retain financial independence, it’s crucial to make sure that each spouse has their own individual bank accounts and credit cards. The fact that financial control can occur in any kind of relationship—including those between parents and children, siblings, friends, and so on—should also be noted. It is not just a problem in romantic relationships.
Your Partner Is Tight With Their Own Money but Freely Spends Yours
Financial compatibility is equally important in relationships as emotional compatibility. The topic of money, however, may become a significant cause of disagreement and anxiety for some couples. When a partner is very frugal with their own money but freely spends yours, this is one of the biggest and most frequent problems.
Your partner chose the restaurant, but has he or she frequently “forgotten their wallet at home”? Have they agreed to contribute to a significant purchase with you but never paid their share? Do they only want to go to the movies or get coffee if you pay for it? You may believe your partner doesn’t appreciate your time or money in these situations, which can be frustrating.
While a partner who is exceedingly thrifty with their own money might do so under the pretext of financial responsibility, this is utterly undermined when they go on to treat your money carelessly. This behavior might be a sign of a deeply held belief—one that has serious financial and interpersonal repercussions—that they are more valuable than you and your time, effort, and money.
Your Partner Frequently Borrows Money From Loved Ones
Hey, we understand, things happen. At some point, most people find themselves needing to borrow money from friends or family. But when it becomes a recurring tendency with no effort to break the pattern, borrowing money turns into a serious concern. Borrowing money not only burdens friends and family, but also suggests that your partner has poor money management skills and may not be considerate of others’ generosity and financial limits.
This might not only strain friendships and family ties, but it can also foster emotions of fear and mistrust between the partners. This may result in financial pressure and, as a result, damage to the relationship.
Another thing to think about is that when a partner borrows money frequently, it could be an indication of more serious money troubles, such as excessive spending, poor budgeting, or even a gambling addiction. Additionally, it can mean that they are not fully accepting responsibility for their financial situation and that they are counting on others to save them.
Your Partner Keeps Their Spending Habits Hidden
Financial honesty and trust are essential components of relationships. While the thought of our partner surprising us with an unexpected gift or vacation is something we all like to romanticize, the reality of secret spending is typically much less romantic. When one partner keeps their spending habits a secret, it can be very tense and distrustful for the other.
Secretive spending becomes a big worry when you share a joint account with your partner or are working together to attain a certain financial objective. Their hidden spending turns deceitful and harmful if it hinders your progress toward that goal or strays from the financial principles you both agreed upon, which prompts questions about why your partner wants to hide these things.
Therefore, it is important to handle hidden spending as quickly as possible, whether you found a crumpled receipt in the trash or some odd transactions on a shared credit card. Conversations regarding money, especially spending habits and financial goals, must be honest and transparent. Building a solid foundation of trust and establishing financial stability can be done by being open and cooperative.
Your Partner Is Fixated on Buying New Things
The saying “money isn’t happiness” may be so well known because, let’s be honest, we will always need money to do something new. No matter how wealthy you are, you can never truly be satisfied if your sense of pleasure in life depends on owning the newest gadgets.
Does your partner have to buy the latest items, including designer clothing, gadgets, cars, and whatever else they can afford? It can be a normal desire to purchase whatever you can find on sale rather than something that you really need.
But if your partner consistently buys stuff just because it is new and they want to have it without really needing it, it is a sign of financial irresponsibility and you should be aware of it.
Your Partner Uses Multiple Credit Cards
Have you ever been out on a date with someone and the payment required the use of six different credit cards? While having many credit cards can help your credit score, it can also be a source of additional temptations for someone with poor money management skills.
Some would use them to rack up unnecessary debt, whereas someone with a strong financial base would strive to optimize having numerous cards for a good credit rating. In this instance, warning signs include exceeding the credit limit, expirations, and other reasons why a transaction was refused.
By being upfront and honest with your partner, you can help them comprehend the effects of their actions on the two of you and your relationship. You can also perhaps find a solution to help them stop taking on further, unnecessary debt. You may attain financial stability and a solid foundation of trust by doing this.
If you want to learn more about financial compatibility you might want to try reading this book.
You can also check out: 7 Manipulation Tactics Toxic People Use To Silence You