On this episode of DETANGLED
Whoever said that dating was easy probably didn’t go to a lot of them. I’m all about experimenting and having fun while doing so, but from my vast experience, I’m telling you that some people are not the ones for you. But let’s discuss more about it!
Have you ever made any dating mistakes?
Wait for a second, take a step back, and let’s discuss for a few moments! Dating should be fun and exciting, but there are some things that you don’t have to deal with! I’m serious! You might meet with some people and notice that you really get along with them, but there’s also the possibility that you go out with someone, think they’re nice and great at first, but then you discover that there’s no way you can get along with them.
One time, a divorced friend of mine told me that she met a man online; they talked for a few days, and they seemed to get along. They began dating almost immediately, saying that they couldn’t be any happier with one another. However, they weren’t meant to last, because the minute they moved in together, problems started to appear.
He never accepted that he was wrong, and he hated the fact that my friend liked to clean the entire apartment once a week; he wasn’t a big fan of that, and he kept walking with his dirty shoes all over the place. I know that it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but that was the thing that started a ton of problems between them: a lack of respect.
Speaking of relationships, just because you’ve been single for quite a while doesn’t mean that you have to settle for whatever comes your way first, because you can never know what will happen next. If you know exactly what you’re looking for, it’ll be way easier for you to discover what you want and need.
But don’t forget to pay attention to all those things you hated the first time you connected with someone, because they are the ones that will make you regret your relationship later. Without further ado, here are some common red flags and dating mistakes people make:
1. A person who has no ambition
I think this is pretty much self-explanatory, but being with someone who’s not ambitious at all is more likely to have a significant impact on your life as well. If the person you’re dating is lazy or too content with where they are and doesn’t care about growing, that’s fine in some cases, but not all of them.
Let’s say that you’re passionate about something and that you want to work on it to improve and achieve your goals. In that case, you should be dating someone who’s ambitious and who’s constantly working on themselves, whether to do things better, learn something new, or become more successful at the things they’re doing.
If you spend the majority of your time with a person who always complains about the things they’re doing and doesn’t support and encourage you, there are 2 possible outcomes that can happen: they either manage to influence you in the wrong way, or you end up breaking up.
2. Someone who has an intense behavior
This sounds a bit confusing, but I’m going to explain everything to you in a couple of seconds. If you’re dating someone, you surely like to spend time with them, text them, or talk to them on the phone because it’s nice and romantic.
However, too much of a good thing is never OK, and that also applies to romantic relationships. For example, if you notice that you only went on 2-3 dates, but they already talk about moving in or saying big things, such as “I love you,” it might be a little too much, too soon.
Don’t get me wrong, if you like things to move fast and you’re happy that way, that’s perfectly fine, but if you want to take things easy and not rush into something new, it’s better to take one step at a time. You know, safe and easy.
Dating should be appealing and intriguing, not something that feels rushed or pressured. There’s already enough stress around us, and a relationship shouldn’t be one of these factors — at least not at the beginning of it.
3. Someone who always makes fun of you
I know, I know, people in a couple tend to make fun of each other from time to time, and that’s perfectly fine. It makes both of you laugh and enjoy each other’s company more, but there’s a fragile line between an innocent joke and actually mean behavior.
It’s not hard to notice if the person you’re dating is making too much fun of you. All you have to do is pay attention to the way you’re feeling when they say those things. If you start laughing and then come up with another joke, that’s only teasing, and there’s nothing to worry about.
But if their sayings are making you feel bad, weird, and uncomfortable, you shouldn’t be dating them anymore, because that’s only a sign of insecurity. Someone who values themselves and knows how to treat their significant other won’t do anything to hurt you.
4. Someone who hates your hobbies
Dating someone who doesn’t care at all about your hobbies is definitely a deal-breaker. Maybe the example I gave you earlier, the one with my friend and the person she’s met online, isn’t the best one, but you get the point.
Let’s say that you’re into basketball and you want to play this sport on the weekends, or you’re always buying tickets for the games. Of course, it’s quite hard for the person you’re with to have the same opinion as you regarding the things you like, but if they care about you, they will support your passion and will join you when they can.
But if they say basketball is strange and a waste of time, and you should never talk about it again, I believe the person you should never talk to is the one you’re dating.
5. Someone you’re not that interested in
That might be considered a no-brainer, but let me tell you that many people are guilty of this, including myself. I know people who are dating someone they don’t like very much but still go out together, waiting for the possibility that those people will actually grow on them sooner or later.
I’m not a “love at first sight” believer, although I think that some people can find their love very quickly, but if you don’t like someone the first few times you get together, what’s the point in continuing to date?
I’m not talking about looks here, but rather attitude. If you prefer to be with someone who’s ambitious and always hustles, do you think that dating someone who loves watching TV all day will suddenly make them the great goal achiever you want? Probably not, and that’s why you should know exactly what you’re looking for. Otherwise, you’re only wasting your time and that person’s time too.
6. Someone who gossips
Gossip is something natural, and almost everyone does it. But here’s the thing: if you’re dating someone who keeps gossiping about their friends and family each time they see you, how can you be sure that they won’t do the same thing when it comes to you?
You probably don’t want to share all your personal details with them, because you can never be sure that they will remain a secret after chatting with them. I know that it’s nice and fun to gossip with your friends and family, but when it comes to your dating or love life, those things might be best kept private — a secret that only you 2 know.
Do you need more tips and tricks on how to find the love of your life? Then check out this book, and I’m pretty sure you’re going to find everything you need there!
…Speaking of dating, this type of subject is never easy to figure out, but we’re here for you to make it easier and more enjoyable! Until our next article, here’s something else that you don’t want to miss: DATING: What Senior Men Are Most Attracted to!