On this episode of DETANGLED
You might think that being in a close and romantic relationship will make someone stay faithful. I used to think that too, but during all those years that I experimented with relationships, I noticed that when something was making me feel unhappy and angry all the time, I started thinking about meeting someone new.
Are you afraid that your partner will be cheating on you?
One time, I was on the verge of cheating, but I realized that something like this would immediately lead to a breakup, so it was better to part ways before I was going to get us both hurt.
There are many reasons why people are unfaithful: they’re unhappy, bored, sick of the same relationship, crave attention and validation, want to feel the excitement of the beginning of a romantic connection again, are missing something in their actual relationship, and so many other things.
Speaking of that, there are people who have even said that after cheating on their partners, they actually realized how much they love the person they’re with. Of course, that depends on the things that we actually consider cheating: kissing and hugging, talking or texting without the other person knowing about it, intimacy, and social media stalking.
I’m not sure what to say about cheating and realizing one’s feelings, but I do know that cheating is never easy to overcome and can result in serious confidence and trust issues. If you’re scared that your partner is thinking about being unfaithful, here’s what you should know:
1. They keep their relationship secret
This doesn’t apply if you’re married, because it’s rather difficult to hide your marriage from friends, family, and other people. However, if you’re in a simple relationship and your partner doesn’t want to tell the people they’re close to about you, you’re probably right to take it as a red flag.
The reason why some people don’t want others to know if they’re seeing someone or not is that they don’t want to miss the chance to flirt when they’re at an event, social gathering, or simply on social media.
If you don’t say anything about your partner and you also don’t have any pictures online, people will assume that you’re single, and those who find you interesting are more likely to hit you up, isn’t that right?
2. They compared your relationships with others
As you already know, comparison is the thief of joy, and while you are aware of this, it can be difficult to focus on yourself and the things that are important to you without comparing yourself to those around you.
The same thing can happen to your relationship as well. If there’s something that you’re not exactly happy with, you’re more likely to compare it with others you see around you or on the Internet, which is definitely the worst thing ever.
For instance, if your partner keeps complaining that your relationship is this or that while other couples are completely the opposite and keeps asking why your connection isn’t more like others’, that is never good.
However, a situation like this doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re thinking about cheating on you, but they’re not happy with how things are going either. Maybe you can have an honest conversation where you talk about all the things that make you happy and sad and come up with solutions to solve them.
Don’t forget that some things might work for different couples, but that doesn’t mean that they’ll be suitable for you as well, which is why both of you need to address the situation.
3. Their friends act weird around you
Whether we’re talking about men or women, one thing is certain: everyone talks to their friends about things they want, things they want to do, people they like, people who have made them angry, and a variety of other topics.
If your partner is thinking about cheating on you, they’ll surely talk to their friends about it. Maybe they’ll do it to be convinced not to go further with their desire, or maybe they want to feel justified for thinking of doing it.
Whatever the reason might be, your SO’s friends will more likely give you an attitude or special treatment because they know what’s happening behind the curtains. They’ll probably analyze you to see why your partner is thinking about cheating, so pay attention to any of these signs.
4. They keep pointing out the bad things in your relationship
Nobody and nothing are perfect, maybe except a no-bake raspberry cheesecake, so it’s no wonder that a relationship has a few ups and downs along the way. People are different, and sometimes their opinions don’t align and they might risk getting into a fight, especially if they’re already tired and angry and have no idea how to address the situation calmly.
However, if your partner keeps telling you about all those things that are weird between you 2, it might be a red flag you shouldn’t ignore. Of course, there might be some issues to address, but there are also good things in your couple, right?
Well, if they only focus on the flaws, you should know that it might be a sign that there’s something they don’t like, that they’re unhappy, or that they want things to change.
If they do this daily, that’s when you should worry, because if your significant other keeps complaining about your relationship, they’re more likely to think about cheating.
If you have any problems in your relationship but don’t feel like going to therapy, this book is going to do wonders for you and your partner. I know that it did for my spouse and me.
5. They seem like they don’t care anymore
This is one of the most difficult things to notice in a relationship, especially if you’re deeply in love with your partner and they appear to have grown out of it.
When a person thinks about cheating, they’re more likely to not care about the relationship they’re in because their mind is already somewhere else. So what exactly happens if your partner thinks about cheating on you?
After all the things previously mentioned, they might seem very indifferent to anything that’s related to your relationship. Let’s say that there were some issues between you 2, and you tried to come up with different methods to make things better, but you’re the only one who’s trying.
Even if you do something that would normally anger your partner, they seem like they don’t care anymore, and they’re absent and indifferent, regardless of what you’re doing.
However, don’t be so quick to jump to conclusions and blame them for cheating on you because things might be different than they seem. Maybe they’re stressed and busy with different things, such as work or projects they might be involved in, family issues, or any other things that might necessitate their attention, and they can’t even think about the situation back home.
Find a moment when they’re calm and not on the run, and talk about the things that make you sad. Maybe there’s nothing to worry about, but you’ll never know until you ask.
6. They spend less time at home
Unless they’re not busy with work or taking care of a family member, being part of a project, or helping out a friend with something, missing a lot from home is a thing that will give you doubts regarding your partner’s faithfulness.
We’ve previously said that there are many reasons that lead people to cheat, but when you’re thinking about it, you have 3 choices to make: you either think about the consequences and decide to give your relationship 1 more chance, you end things with your partner for good, or you don’t say anything and simply do it.
However, if someone chooses the 3rd option, they might not want to see you that much, either because they feel guilty for doing it or because they aren’t happy with you anymore. One way to be sure is to talk to them about your worries and see where things go.
I know that cheating is never easy, but I think it’s better to address it than to be constantly thinking about your partner’s infidelity.
…If you want to know more about cheating, here’s another article you should read: Micro-Cheating: 5 Signs and What to Do About It!