On this episode of DETANGLED
Dating is one of the best things ever, and let me tell you that before I met my husband, I was all about going out and meeting new people. I feel like the majority of people are like that when they’re young and patient, but when it comes to seniors, especially those who’ve just been through a divorce, they can’t be bothered by that. But there are some secrets about dating that you don’t know, and when you discover them, your love life will be completely different.
Are you a senior who’s looking for a date?
I don’t know where you stand on this, but when it comes to dating, some seniors seem to think that the dating rules that used to matter when they were younger are still in place today. No, no, no, honey, don’t do that!
Times have changed and they’re still changing, let me tell you something: if you think that you have to look like you’re 30 years old to get out with someone, then I want you to think about all the dating rules you think apply in today’s society. Do you know them? Ok, good. Now I want you to completely erase them from your mind.
I know that social media is nice and fun, but it is also toxic. We’re constantly seeing posts of actresses and other celebs that look almost like they did 20 years ago, and somehow we come up with this idea that beauty and looks are everything that matters. No, they don’t matter as much!
If you’re one of the seniors who believe that you have to be a certain age to meet someone who will sweep you off your feet and what filters you use on your photos, let me tell you that we’re going to debunk all of these myths in today’s article!
1. Looks are not everything
If you think about a teenager or maybe a young adult and their dating life, they’ll probably tell you that 1 of the 1st things they pay attention to is the way someone looks. Some people say that this means superficiality, but I think that’s something specific to young people (I used to be like that when I was 20 years old, but as I grew up, I changed and I realized that some things are more important than others).
Speaking of importance, when it comes to a senior couple, looks are not one of the most important things in a relationship. Of course, being good-looking doesn’t hurt, but you don’t need Hercules’ muscles or a Kardashian’s b***y to attract that senior you’ve had your eye on for a while.
You can be the most beautiful or handsome person on the planet, but if your attitude is not right, your relationship won’t work based on the way you look, so remember that!
2. Not everybody wants to get married
The majority of dating services for young adults state that the ultimate goal is to find someone with whom they want to spend the rest of their lives and marry. On the other hand, when it comes to seniors, things are more likely to be different.
If you’re a senior who’s looking for a new love, maybe you’ve been married already, and that person might have been too. There’s the possibility that you’ll find someone who wants to go to the altar and write vows one more time, or you might fall for a person who doesn’t even think of marriage.
A lot of senior people only care about a romantic connection and companionship and nothing else, especially not a wedding dress and a tuxedo. When it comes to the dating life of the elderly, what’s important is the way you 2 communicate and get along with each other.
Moreover, according to the people I’ve talked to for my research, they care more about having a partner join them in their travel experiences, someone they can count on to share memories and things with, go out to dinner, or go out and have a dancing night.
Of course, other seniors are excited to get married again and feel like a complete family, but that’s not always the case. Regardless, there is an entire spectrum of finding a new love rather than marriage.
3. Trust MATTERS!
Doesn’t it matter for everyone, actually? Yes, it does. Trust is something that is hard to earn but easy to lose, and regardless of someone’s age and the type of relationship they have, whether it’s work-related, family-related, friendship-related, or romantic, trust is the glue between them.
It seems like seniors have a harder time trusting someone, especially a romantic partner, because their vast life experience tells them to be extra careful. How do they know that the person they want to be with is actually looking for a partner and not someone to take care of them in their later years?
How is someone new going to get along with their children and grandchildren? What if someone only plans on getting their hands on their money, and they’ll be left without a penny in the end?
You can never be sure of the person who’s by your side until you know them well, go through tough situations together, and see how they react. A relationship without trust is not going to work in the long run, because this is going to make the partners fight and keep things secret from one another, so be extra careful when you choose the person you want to share the rest of your life with!
4. Age is not that important
When they’re looking for someone special, young adults are very preoccupied with age, but seniors don’t care that much about this aspect, knowing that it’s never too late to look for the love of their life.
While this criterion is not that important for a potential partner, they prefer to pay more attention to other aspects, such as the health of the person they’re interested in, how much they can handle certain activities, and of course, their personality.
5. Time spent together
While younger adults don’t have a problem seeing each other a little less often, given the fact that their lives are busy and they don’t always have time to get together, seniors want someone they can spend time with.
And that’s understandable, right? The majority of seniors have retired anyway, and they have a lot of free time on their hands. Whether it’s going to the movies, cooking together, playing board games, doing a puzzle, or going out for a stroll, seniors want to be close to the person they care about. If it’s not possible to get together, a phone call or text will do the trick.
6. 1st impression is important
The majority of seniors know that 1st impressions really matter. Of course, you might say that some people are shy, which might make them act a bit weird when they 1st see someone, but I’m not talking about doing clumsy things because you feel a little intimated by someone new.
As I’ve already said multiple times throughout this article, seniors have a vast life experience, which helps them know for sure whether someone’s intentions are good or not from the 1st date.
For example, let me tell you a story from many years ago, just a few months before I met my husband. I went out with a guy who kept mocking me for not being from the city and coming from a small town that’s not considered that important.
At 1st, I thought that he was only teasing me, but as the date went on, he actually started to laugh at my accent and said a few things that made me very angry, so I opened the door of the car and told him that I was going home.
When he realized that I was mad, he said he was sorry and it was only a dumb joke. I tried to understand him and think that it was indeed just a bad joke, but after a month, he simply stopped texting me and it was over.
That’s when I realized how crucial and accurate 1st impressions can be. Seniors already know these things, and they’re not willing to let other people be mean to them and hurt them. There’s simply no point in that, so why would you waste your time hoping that someone would change when, when the 1st time you saw them, you realized that they were no good?
Do you need any additional tips on how to find the perfect date for you? I love books and I think that they’re the best, so if you want to learn how to find a travel companion or a person to love, I know exactly the book you need, so check it out because it’s fantastic.
If you want to know more things about dating for seniors, here’s another article that you’ll enjoy: Want to Keep Love Alive in Retirement? Try These 8 Senior Dating Tips!